My Shoe Collection

Imelda Marcos and I agree that shoes are an important component of identity.  Without further ado, let me introduce to you my shoes.

Foam Slippers from K-Mart – these are the perfect slippers for at home and in the banya.  One of my prized possessions. They leave black streaks on the vinyl kitchen floor, so I kick them off before entering the kitchen.

YMC Suede Woven Soled Shoes - so nice I’m afraid to wear them.  Obviously Nina picked them for me.

Nike Grass Soccer Cleats – solely responsible for the Diner Old Boys’ capture of the New York Co-ed Soccer League’s Winter 2009 championship medal.

Code West Cheap Shoes – almost never worn, yet worn out.

Maximus Maroon Patent Leather Shoes – very interesting.  I bit risque for me.  Want ‘em?

Eduardo G Leather Sneakers – these make me happy, and I’m glad I just rediscovered them in the process of posting this.

Designer Ankle Boot Ked Imitations – these look nice, but they make a loud flopping noise when the rubber sole bends as it hits the ground.  Therefore, I have never worn them.  Free to the highest bidder.

Confetti Keds – still waiting for the correct occasion 6 years later.

Reebok Classic Cheap Sneakers – always there for me in times of need.

Top One Feivue Hipster Kung-Fu Sneakers – clearly Daniel sold these to me for $20.  They’re too small and have turned yellow despite a lack of use.  If you want ‘em send me a note.

Adidas Classic Running Sneaks – I have two pairs of running/tennis shoes.  These are for home, the others are in a locker in the gym.  That means I have to go running on occasion.

Haband Casual Joe Docksiders - actually very comfortable but seldom worn.

Port Authority Bowling Alley Shoes – stolen at some point during one of my infamous birthday parties in the bus terminal.

Banana Republic Vero Cucio Generic Stretchy Boots – an Amostle staple.  I believe these are partially responsible for the back pain I have experienced for several years.  They will be winding up in Newtown Creek soon.

Florsheim Zipper Ankle Boots – very useful for when I want to wear a shoe but don’t have anything nice on hand.  It’s high time these saw Newtown Creek as well.

Brown Shoe Shiny Black Shoes – not really much to look at.  But they come in handy.Want ‘em?

Banana Republic Ankle Boots – Selected by Nina, of course.  I’m actually very happy with these, and would buy another pair if I could find them.  They are responsible for my purchase of other Banana Republic shoes, although none of the others are any good.

Banana Republic Vero Cucio Generic Brown Shoes - bought on sale, hardly used.

Calvin Klein Generic Cheap Brown Loafers – discovered at some kind of sample sale.  Frequently used, much to the chagrin of my stylist.

Striker Bowling Shoes – there was a time many years ago when a warehouse in Greenpoint near the intersection of Bedford Ave & Nassau Ave sold power tools on the street.  Hundreds of boxes of bowling shoes wound up there one day and here is a pair.

Hush Puppies Hipster Sneakers – a man should not wear sneakers except when exercising.  However, these occasionally accompany me on trips to Manhattan.

Ecco Ugly Old Leather Things – when it rains, I wear these.  They never looked better than immediately after a shoe shine by a toothless Mayan in Oaxaca.  Now they have a hole in the sole that makes a squooshy noise when I walk.

Ralph Lauren Suede Boots – very nice suede boots.

Banana Republic “Saul” Oxfords – based on my fondness for the brown Banana Republic ankle boots above, I just bought these.  They arrived by UPS today, and don’t look nearly as nice as they did online.   I need a pair of decent oxfords for a wedding this Saturday, so I’m at a bit of a loss as to whether to return them or just suffer another pair of junk shoes.

Update – June 23 2009: the Banana Republic Saul Oxfords have been returned.  Good riddance to bad rubbish.  The Code West Cheap Shoes, Reebok Classic Cheap Sneakers, Banana Republic Vero Cucio Generic Stretchy Boots, Florsheim Zipper Ankle Boots, and Ecco Ugly Old Leather Things have been deposited in a cardboard box in the basement of the apartment building.